The Time Stamp Is For The Subsequent Police Report

Flamboyant gay dude, screaming into cell phone 7/30/08 6:15pm.

"And you TALKED to that faggot motherfucker while you put ME on hold?  Oh no you did not just do that, motherfucker!"

18th and Benjamin Franklin Parkway, sidewalk outside the Embassy Suites
Overheard by Marge Gunderson

It's Nice When People Partially Understand The Concept

2 black guys are arguing with 4 black girls in a car and as the girls drive by the guys tell them to stop and back up.

The girl refuses to back up and screams out the window: "I ain't doing that, I got no insurance!"

Temple University
Overheard by XninjaR

He'd Have A Coronary At OHiP

Me (realizing all envelopes were typed incorrectly): "Oh HELL".

My boss, instantly gasps loudly: "LANGUAGE, Ms. V____"

My office
Overheard by jayvee

All Downhill After John Bonham Died

Punk kid talking to group of friends: "I like Led Zeppelin, except for the singer and the guitarist."

Outside Fiume, West Philly
Overheard by Melanie

Zygote Humor

guys were sitting at a table eating pizza

Guy 1 to Guy 2: "you were so little that you couldn't suck your mommas milk"

around 46th and Baltimore
Overheard by philly

This One Made Me Cry A Little

Muse playing on store radio

FYE Clerk 1: "You know I never really liked this song til I heard it on Guitar Hero."

FYE Clerk 2: "Yeah, totally!"

Montgomery Mall FYE
Overheard byS.1T mourning the death of Rock

The Economic Slowdown Is Hitting Everyone Hard

crazy old guy in middle of crazy rant about welfare: "You can make cigarettes out of green beans!"

73 heading to Frankford
Overheard by mtsbspidey

Accidents Happen

Blonde girl: "I just fell on his dick."

Chinatown
Overheard by P.S.

All The Bitches Love The Long Leak

Girl with friends on Frankford line

Girl Laughs.

Homeless guy mimics her laugh.

Girl: ... "Dude, did that toothless, smelly homeless man just make fun of me?  Seriously.  Wasn't he the guy we just watch piss on the platform?"

Frankford Line
Overheard by NixonAgnew

Dammit People! We Need Pictures!

A couple, girl and a guy walking side by side, I'm walking behind them with a friend.

From the street, a guy in a white truck screams to the couple: "Hey man, your girl's titty is hanging out!"

Couple abruptly stops, girl looks down, looks at guy, exclaims: "Oh my god, my titty IS hanging out!" Covers up...everyone laughs...

Locust St, Tuesday, 11pm
Overheard by Tara Reid

If They Could, Would That Solve The Religous Rights' Concerns?

A very confused man at a non-profit organization asking for information about safe sex. An equally confused receptionist responds as follows.

Confused Man: "Excuse me, do you know if my girl is pregnant?"
Receptionist: "I don't think we have that information, sir."
Confused Man (earnestly): "If a guy and a guy do it, can they make babies?"
Receptionist: "No, sir. That's not how it works. Is that why you're here?"
Confused Man: "No, I asked that for a friend."

Confused Office
Overheard by ILaughatAwkwardMoments

All The Greats Started That Way

Homeless man shuffling around in a circle outside of club pure in front of a group of club patrons and passersby.

Homeless guy: "arba blah blah raba *incoherent mumbling* blarbrah WILT Chamberlain."

Random Girl in front of club turns to me: "Man, homeless people know all the best jokes."

outside club Pure
Overheard by NixonAgnew

They Who Can Give Up Essential Liberty To Obtain A Little Temporary Safety, Deserve Neither Liberty Nor Safety.

Redneck: "Almost $5 a gallon, Can you believe what those towel-heads are charging us for gas?"

Hippie: "Ya think maybe it has something to do with the 500 billion we've spent on the Iraq war?"

Redneck: "You must be a terrorist to say something like that!"

Gas station in N.E. Philly
Overheard by Concerned Citizen

Like Most Males Between 14 and 25?

Teen Girl 1:  "I told my mama not to fuck with retards."

Teen Girl 2:  "uh huh.  when they get going. . .they got no control.  they fuck yo shit up."

Teen girl 3:  "uh huh"

corner of 10th & South Streets
Overheard by bella

Rocky Is Now Your Neighbor Getting His Sunday Paper

Man, to 5 year old son, walking past Rocky statue: "Those aren't his underwear, it's his boxing shorts!"

Philadelphia Museum of Art, near Rocky statue
Overheard by hibbet